OCLA's Michelangelo and astro partner in crime, Ivory, are here every month, to lend you advice on love, life, sex, and fashion.
GEMINI
For your birthday month, Gemini, sex is a plane ride away, so take a trip! The sun is in your first house (the house of the self), a very favorable position. The lovers you choose are always right outside the dance floor. When, and if, you decide to do it, do it good!
CANCER
I hope you have a pair of sunglasses because reality can be very bright. Vampiric clubbing and days so bright you can’t even begin to comprehend all the colors, it's all so dazzling. Cancer, this month, more than anything else it's safer to fly a kite.
LEO
Rebel without a cause, or rather, without a clue. Thunder only happens when it’s raining, lovers only love you when they’re LAYING. The stillness of memories is hardly anything you’ve lost. So, Leo, when the rain washes you clean you will know!
VIRGO
Organization nation, re-organization nation, our suggestion, Virgo, is to call Janet. Although some of you may have to refer to her as Mz. Jackson, ask her about rhythm and being in control. Otherwise ditch the list, put your headphones on, and nationalize your life!
LIBRA
Just because you’re pretty (which you are), it doesn’t mean everyone else is. Truth is a philosophical concept. What’s true for he, she, we, may not be true at all. This month the law lies in your hands—what's true for you?
SCORPIO
With ritual, rich you will be—laughing like crazy all the way to the bank. Cliché it may be, but you have a diamond-shaped head, and it's your turn to run the world. Cross your legs and fingers and say "I am the new Beyoncé, I am the new Beyoncé." (Feel free to lick your lips or twirl the hips before saying this.)
SAGITTARIUS
It's time to figure out the one you want to do. Saggie, my friend, the goal is to validate your wallet as well as your genitals! Booze 'n' bruise, if ya wanna.
CAPRICORN
Physically, you’re banging; economically, you’re hanging. The tighter your ship, the tighter your tips! Your body is your temple to take care of. Every now and then purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, or any other rejuvinating body of water. Silky water, soft sand, and summer camps filled with recovery. LOL!
AQUARIUS
Expansion is your middle name, Midas is in your fingers, so what are you going to touch? Stay golden as long as you can. Know when to hold, and know when to fold. Whether you’re walking or running, it will be fun all the way.
PISCES
As uncomfortable as things may seem, you’ve got the dream team by your side. Move if you need to, stay if you want to. Just remember that U are part of the universe, that universe has a universe, and so does love.
TAURUS
Talking, talking, talking! Taking action, on the other hand? Not so much. Slowly but surely you will become the temples you build and the fires you ignite. Your internal architecture will become your pyramid of pleasure.
ARIES
You can have a fast car, but how is it going to get you out of here? Crises or Chrysler, Cadillac to crash—is your car built to last? Aries, it’s time to put your pedal to the metal, and get out of the ghetto... Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, it's 2X2.
Visit Michelangelo and Ivory on FACEB
GEMINI
For your birthday month, Gemini, sex is a plane ride away, so take a trip! The sun is in your first house (the house of the self), a very favorable position. The lovers you choose are always right outside the dance floor. When, and if, you decide to do it, do it good!
CANCER
I hope you have a pair of sunglasses because reality can be very bright. Vampiric clubbing and days so bright you can’t even begin to comprehend all the colors, it's all so dazzling. Cancer, this month, more than anything else it's safer to fly a kite.
LEO
Rebel without a cause, or rather, without a clue. Thunder only happens when it’s raining, lovers only love you when they’re LAYING. The stillness of memories is hardly anything you’ve lost. So, Leo, when the rain washes you clean you will know!
VIRGO
Organization nation, re-organization nation, our suggestion, Virgo, is to call Janet. Although some of you may have to refer to her as Mz. Jackson, ask her about rhythm and being in control. Otherwise ditch the list, put your headphones on, and nationalize your life!
LIBRA
Just because you’re pretty (which you are), it doesn’t mean everyone else is. Truth is a philosophical concept. What’s true for he, she, we, may not be true at all. This month the law lies in your hands—what's true for you?
SCORPIO
With ritual, rich you will be—laughing like crazy all the way to the bank. Cliché it may be, but you have a diamond-shaped head, and it's your turn to run the world. Cross your legs and fingers and say "I am the new Beyoncé, I am the new Beyoncé." (Feel free to lick your lips or twirl the hips before saying this.)
SAGITTARIUS
It's time to figure out the one you want to do. Saggie, my friend, the goal is to validate your wallet as well as your genitals! Booze 'n' bruise, if ya wanna.
CAPRICORN
Physically, you’re banging; economically, you’re hanging. The tighter your ship, the tighter your tips! Your body is your temple to take care of. Every now and then purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, or any other rejuvinating body of water. Silky water, soft sand, and summer camps filled with recovery. LOL!
AQUARIUS
Expansion is your middle name, Midas is in your fingers, so what are you going to touch? Stay golden as long as you can. Know when to hold, and know when to fold. Whether you’re walking or running, it will be fun all the way.
PISCES
As uncomfortable as things may seem, you’ve got the dream team by your side. Move if you need to, stay if you want to. Just remember that U are part of the universe, that universe has a universe, and so does love.
TAURUS
Talking, talking, talking! Taking action, on the other hand? Not so much. Slowly but surely you will become the temples you build and the fires you ignite. Your internal architecture will become your pyramid of pleasure.
ARIES
You can have a fast car, but how is it going to get you out of here? Crises or Chrysler, Cadillac to crash—is your car built to last? Aries, it’s time to put your pedal to the metal, and get out of the ghetto... Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, it's 2X2.
Visit Michelangelo and Ivory on FACEB