Here at OC, we are struck by how often we end up in everyday conundrums. The ones that land you in the thick of semi (or full-blown) awkwardness, or maybe, the doghouse.
So, we turned to Simon Collins, the former dean of the School of Fashion at Parsons who just confirmed rumours of an enviable NYFW consulting gig with IMG. Here, he answers our questions on how to behave—single and as a +1.
Q. Every year, I hear a lot of my single friends say, "[Insert Year] is THE year I'm going to find THE One." Everyone says it'll happen when you're not looking, but that's just bullshit, right?
I got news for you, sister: You’re never going to find anyone. You’re going to be alone for life with only a cat for company, then one day they’ll hear your cat crying out for a change of diet, having lived off your remains for a month.
Of course that’s not the only way it could go. But the thing is, if you’re looking for love, then you reek of desperation. Absolutely stink of it. And like cat pee, it’s detectable from 50 paces away. I mean, you might manage a quick bunk-up now and then, but real love? Probably not.
The solution, my dear readers, is to stop worrying about what you haven’t got, and concentrate on what you have.
Eat Drink Live Love with a passion like there's no tomorrow. Find something to go wild for—literature, tango, Bordeaux—and along the way, someone else will go wild with, and for, you.
Q. My date to a fancy wedding went to town on the dinner buffet, as if he had purposefully saved up for an epic binge—open bar included. Such an embarrassment, but I kept silent. Should I have said something?
Bastard. You should’ve had the bouncers rough him up a bit, then throw him out on his ear. The thing about being a +1 is that you are there to make your host look great. You are an addition—an accessory, much like a nice hat. And you don’t find hats making big with the vol-au-vents. If you’re lucky enough to be invited as a +1, then imagine you’re being taken to meet the parents of the boy/girl of your dreams. Behave accordingly. Though I have to say, I’m entirely at a loss about the open-bar question. I’m English. An open bar isn’t an invitation, it’s a challenge.
To those I’ve bumped into during a Champagne-fuelled open bar at fashion weeks around the world, I am reminded of the words of John Malkovich as Vicomte de Valmont in Dangerous Liaisons: “It’s beyond my control.”![]()
Simon Collins
So, we turned to Simon Collins, the former dean of the School of Fashion at Parsons who just confirmed rumours of an enviable NYFW consulting gig with IMG. Here, he answers our questions on how to behave—single and as a +1.
Q. Every year, I hear a lot of my single friends say, "[Insert Year] is THE year I'm going to find THE One." Everyone says it'll happen when you're not looking, but that's just bullshit, right?
I got news for you, sister: You’re never going to find anyone. You’re going to be alone for life with only a cat for company, then one day they’ll hear your cat crying out for a change of diet, having lived off your remains for a month.
Of course that’s not the only way it could go. But the thing is, if you’re looking for love, then you reek of desperation. Absolutely stink of it. And like cat pee, it’s detectable from 50 paces away. I mean, you might manage a quick bunk-up now and then, but real love? Probably not.
The solution, my dear readers, is to stop worrying about what you haven’t got, and concentrate on what you have.
Eat Drink Live Love with a passion like there's no tomorrow. Find something to go wild for—literature, tango, Bordeaux—and along the way, someone else will go wild with, and for, you.
Q. My date to a fancy wedding went to town on the dinner buffet, as if he had purposefully saved up for an epic binge—open bar included. Such an embarrassment, but I kept silent. Should I have said something?
Bastard. You should’ve had the bouncers rough him up a bit, then throw him out on his ear. The thing about being a +1 is that you are there to make your host look great. You are an addition—an accessory, much like a nice hat. And you don’t find hats making big with the vol-au-vents. If you’re lucky enough to be invited as a +1, then imagine you’re being taken to meet the parents of the boy/girl of your dreams. Behave accordingly. Though I have to say, I’m entirely at a loss about the open-bar question. I’m English. An open bar isn’t an invitation, it’s a challenge.
To those I’ve bumped into during a Champagne-fuelled open bar at fashion weeks around the world, I am reminded of the words of John Malkovich as Vicomte de Valmont in Dangerous Liaisons: “It’s beyond my control.”
Simon Collins