Here at OC, we are struck by how often we end up in everyday conundrums. The ones that land you in the thick of semi (or full-blown) awkwardness, or maybe, the doghouse.
So, we turned to Simon Collins, the dean of the School of Fashion at Parsons, who after six years in his plum perch, is stepping down at the end of this year to launch "Simon 2.0," as he calls it. Translation: More time to divulge lessons on how to the spend the holidays...
Q: So, you didn't get the year-end bonus you wanted (or any bonus—god damn). Sit on your hands or strangle your boss?
Tough year, right? You worked so hard on that project during the summer that you barely made it to the Hamptons share house. And when your colleague left for that plum job with the fat salary, you had to pick up the slack, because times are hard and there wasn’t the budget to replace them. It’s just not fair!
Well you’ll teach them by thieving all you can from the stationery closet. And maybe treat yourself to a fabulous lunch at Balthazar on expenses; the Champagne there is enough to make a dent in what your bonus should’ve been.
Of course the fact that you have the option of going to Balthazar does set you rather apart from many Americans. Many New Yorkers even. Just walk a few blocks south to the Bowery. Those buildings that aren’t posh stores still provide food and beds to people with nothing at all. For them a Christmas bonus is a warm meal and a hot shower, maybe a bed for the night. Or if you’re in Midtown, why not pop over to the main post office and read a letter or two from Operation Santa Clause. They’re from kids with nothing at all under their trees.
So in lieu of the bonus you didn’t get, you could give your own personal time as a Christmas bonus to one of the many food pantries or holiday charities that look after fellow New Yorkers who desperately need your help.
I guarantee you will feel more rewarded than any amount of year-end bonus could ever make you feel. And that OC coat will eventually go on sale.
Q: How do you say "Merry Christmas" and mean it?
The question is, do you actually mean it? Do you really want the person to have a merry Christmas (or Hanukkah, Eid, Diwali, Passover etc)?
If the answer is yes then think hard about what you’re saying. Look the person in the eye, smile, and clearly enunciate the words "Merry Christmas." Sounds easy, doesn't it? If they have a heart, they will smile and accept the good wishes. If they’re of an uptight religious persuasion then they should accept your words in the holiday spirit and perhaps offer back their own version. Either way it’s all good, and happiness is exchanged.
However, to return to the question in hand. If you are wishing merry Christmas to someone about whom you are at best ambivalent then you might consider my previous advice on grin fucking, but before you rush off to practice fake smiles and sneers, may I make a suggestion? (Editor’s note: Yes, that’s your job).
Can we just assume that everyone actually wants everyone else to have a merry Christmas? Even Republicans have moms, remember? So let’s wish each other a very merry Christmas and genuinely mean it. Who knows, it might even catch o
So, we turned to Simon Collins, the dean of the School of Fashion at Parsons, who after six years in his plum perch, is stepping down at the end of this year to launch "Simon 2.0," as he calls it. Translation: More time to divulge lessons on how to the spend the holidays...
Q: So, you didn't get the year-end bonus you wanted (or any bonus—god damn). Sit on your hands or strangle your boss?
Tough year, right? You worked so hard on that project during the summer that you barely made it to the Hamptons share house. And when your colleague left for that plum job with the fat salary, you had to pick up the slack, because times are hard and there wasn’t the budget to replace them. It’s just not fair!
Well you’ll teach them by thieving all you can from the stationery closet. And maybe treat yourself to a fabulous lunch at Balthazar on expenses; the Champagne there is enough to make a dent in what your bonus should’ve been.
Of course the fact that you have the option of going to Balthazar does set you rather apart from many Americans. Many New Yorkers even. Just walk a few blocks south to the Bowery. Those buildings that aren’t posh stores still provide food and beds to people with nothing at all. For them a Christmas bonus is a warm meal and a hot shower, maybe a bed for the night. Or if you’re in Midtown, why not pop over to the main post office and read a letter or two from Operation Santa Clause. They’re from kids with nothing at all under their trees.
So in lieu of the bonus you didn’t get, you could give your own personal time as a Christmas bonus to one of the many food pantries or holiday charities that look after fellow New Yorkers who desperately need your help.
I guarantee you will feel more rewarded than any amount of year-end bonus could ever make you feel. And that OC coat will eventually go on sale.
Q: How do you say "Merry Christmas" and mean it?
The question is, do you actually mean it? Do you really want the person to have a merry Christmas (or Hanukkah, Eid, Diwali, Passover etc)?
If the answer is yes then think hard about what you’re saying. Look the person in the eye, smile, and clearly enunciate the words "Merry Christmas." Sounds easy, doesn't it? If they have a heart, they will smile and accept the good wishes. If they’re of an uptight religious persuasion then they should accept your words in the holiday spirit and perhaps offer back their own version. Either way it’s all good, and happiness is exchanged.
However, to return to the question in hand. If you are wishing merry Christmas to someone about whom you are at best ambivalent then you might consider my previous advice on grin fucking, but before you rush off to practice fake smiles and sneers, may I make a suggestion? (Editor’s note: Yes, that’s your job).
Can we just assume that everyone actually wants everyone else to have a merry Christmas? Even Republicans have moms, remember? So let’s wish each other a very merry Christmas and genuinely mean it. Who knows, it might even catch o