As anyone who makes art knows, swearing is an unavoidable, even integral, part of the creative process. But 100% Lost Cotton, Spike Jonze and Jonah Hill's nostalgic, poetically vulgar one-act play and Opening Ceremony's SS15 fashion show, convinced us that foul language itself can be a (lost) art. To expound on this universal yet oft snubbed discipline, we asked an expert to create the following "guide"—all in good, clean fun.
There once was a time when expletives meant something. But the growth of the Internet and troll culture made bad words so ubiquitous that they saturated our culture and lost all meaning. This time of innocence I speak of is the early ‘90s—the golden era of cursing—when YouTube commenters and 4Chan were but a twinkle in Al Gore’s eye.
Fast forward to today, where misguided teens use profanity as meaningless filler: “Let’s see a movie or some shit.” Or worse, they strip curse words of their power by overusing them. Unless you are Samuel L. Jackson, a scatman of foul language with license to curse as he pleases, you’re going to need to learn how to properly dispense profanity.
Here, a five-step compendium of the who, what, where, why, and when of expletives.
WHO
At whom should you curse? Answer: anyone who deserves it. You might think that high society is off limits for four-letter words, but elites like Cersei Lannister are actually the ideal people for bad words. Decorum requires that they gasp aloud when someone curses in front of them or even thinks of phallic-shaped objects. And, if a high-class gentleman happens to be wearing his monocle, simply whispering “scrotum” will shatter the eyeglass to pieces.
Ironically, it is the lowest caste of people, consisting of those who have sex with animals and reality TV stars, who are so inured to profanity that it rolls right off their backs. Cursing at these monsters might actually make them more powerful than they were before.
WHAT
When trying to think of exactly what to say when a curse word is called for, people often panic and end up blurting out “poop licker” or something equally crass. In a world where any yahoo with a smartphone can forever capture you on camera, the wrong curse word can turn an opportunity to insult like Weezy into a degrading appearance on World Star entitled “White Men Can’t Curse.”
Cursing is more art than science, so while there is no complete list of acceptable expletives, there is a formula that can be used to craft any number of passable profanities by taking something you might see in a pornography, adding a body part, and finishing it off with a fun job. Again, that's Porn Thing + Body Part + Fun Job. As in, don't be a cock-sucking butt surfer.
WHEN
The best time to use expletives is when you’re angry, stressed, overworked, and coked up:
There once was a time when expletives meant something. But the growth of the Internet and troll culture made bad words so ubiquitous that they saturated our culture and lost all meaning. This time of innocence I speak of is the early ‘90s—the golden era of cursing—when YouTube commenters and 4Chan were but a twinkle in Al Gore’s eye.
Fast forward to today, where misguided teens use profanity as meaningless filler: “Let’s see a movie or some shit.” Or worse, they strip curse words of their power by overusing them. Unless you are Samuel L. Jackson, a scatman of foul language with license to curse as he pleases, you’re going to need to learn how to properly dispense profanity.
Here, a five-step compendium of the who, what, where, why, and when of expletives.
WHO
At whom should you curse? Answer: anyone who deserves it. You might think that high society is off limits for four-letter words, but elites like Cersei Lannister are actually the ideal people for bad words. Decorum requires that they gasp aloud when someone curses in front of them or even thinks of phallic-shaped objects. And, if a high-class gentleman happens to be wearing his monocle, simply whispering “scrotum” will shatter the eyeglass to pieces.
Ironically, it is the lowest caste of people, consisting of those who have sex with animals and reality TV stars, who are so inured to profanity that it rolls right off their backs. Cursing at these monsters might actually make them more powerful than they were before.
WHAT
When trying to think of exactly what to say when a curse word is called for, people often panic and end up blurting out “poop licker” or something equally crass. In a world where any yahoo with a smartphone can forever capture you on camera, the wrong curse word can turn an opportunity to insult like Weezy into a degrading appearance on World Star entitled “White Men Can’t Curse.”
Cursing is more art than science, so while there is no complete list of acceptable expletives, there is a formula that can be used to craft any number of passable profanities by taking something you might see in a pornography, adding a body part, and finishing it off with a fun job. Again, that's Porn Thing + Body Part + Fun Job. As in, don't be a cock-sucking butt surfer.
WHEN
The best time to use expletives is when you’re angry, stressed, overworked, and coked up: