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Simon Says: 'Don’t Trust Online Advice Columns'

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Here at OC, we are struck by how often we end up in everyday conundrums. The ones that land you in the thick of semi (or full-blown) awkwardness, or maybe, the doghouse. 

So, we turned to Simon Collins, the
 dean of the School of Fashion at Parsons. Collins recently penned a TOME that explores how and why people get to be so dang successful. Below, Collins lends tongue-in-cheek, Brit-bloke advice to our pain-point questions and social entanglements.



Q: If, in the small recycled circle of online dating you see a familiar face, what do you do? Do you mention it the next time you see that person IRL? 
 
Ah yes, this brave new world of buying expensive dinners for people you don’t really fancy, or pretending that their being ten years older than their profile picture is actually, well, just what you were hoping for. The answer to the question is dependent on gender. Women will file away the target sighting for subsequent use in angry recriminations sometime over the next...forever. Being of a much denser disposition, men will lumberingly forget this juicy morsel when the inevitable argument arises and it will be of no use to them. And so the wheel turns.


If you happen to find yourself out with a new date when an old date spots you, then you should immediately do the following: stand up, shoot your cuffs, button your blazer, and withdraw from the area affecting an air of languid insouciance. Or, you might wish the target well and move on to meet the love of your life.

Q: You give a lot of great advice on what to do. Do you have any advice on what not to do?

Don’t trust online advice columns. Don’t wash your feet with socks on. Don’t forget to call your mum. Don’t vote Republican. Don’t step on the cracks. Don’t forget to floss. Don’t be mean. Don’t eat yellow snow. Don’t cry for me Argentina. Don’t throw stones. Don’t give the oxygen of publicity to things you don’t like. Don’t hold the doors. Don’t waste a single second. Don’t call her back too quickly. Don’t play hard to get. Don’t stop playing. Don’t give up on love. Don’t believe the hype. Don't stop believing. Don’t take my word for it. 


Simon Collins, so dapper in Cannes. (New profile pic? We kid, we kid.) 

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